Boostershots' Resurrection
Absorbing the Controlled Opposition
Guest Author: Son of Coach Red Meat
We are pleased to announce that Igor Chudov has been formally accepted into Team Boostershots!
You read that right bro.
A new alliance between Boostershots and Igor Chudov has been effectively solidified. The United Nations has officially recognized this binding agreement as the "Chudov-Booster-Pact". A formal stipulation was executed by both parties which occurred on November 1st, 2022, under the direction and supervision of Steve Kirsh's Legal Team.
Igor, the fun is only just beginning...
Congratulations bro. You successfully fulfilled your 2ND Boostershots mission by winning the "Viruses Do Not Exist AGAIN Debate Challenge."
What is the "chance" that a Substack Giga-Chad like "Igor Chadov" could have randomly "discovered" some Substack Loser Weirdo with "about 10 viewers if that" and then create a whole new debate with over 2000 comments on the same exact subject?
And we still have a long journey to travel with many adventures ahead of us...together.
This is not just going to be epic, my bruddah, this is going to be…
Psy-operrific!
Let's take a quick look at the old Boostershots roster for a brief review, (and also to better understand what has happened during our prolonged absence).
1. Coach Red Meat (DECEASED)
2. Thomas Cruz (ABANDONED, WENT BACK TO ACTING)
3. Thomas Pain (DECEASED)
4. Broke Baby Daddy (BACK IN JAIL FOR FAILURE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT)
5. Anonymous Retired Russian Computer Expert (DECEASED)
6. Punk Ass Blue Collar Train Conductor (DECEASED)
7. Boomer Shots (DECEASED)
Yeah. It's not just a "turnover" of staff, it's a Boostershots Blood Bath. October was unexpectedly harsh on us this particular year. But we must persevere. Out with the old, and in with the new!
Now lets check out the New Boostershots Team Roster as of 11/01/22!
1. Son of Coach Red Meat
2. Igor Chudov
I fully understand that any normal logical free thinking person would rightfully interject upon hearing such ridiculous claims "slanderous garbage", perhaps even stating something along the lines of:
"What?! How is this even funny? What do you even mean? You're a liar! Igor's on Team Boostershots now?! What?! He NEVER agreed to that! You're falsely implying that he DID agree when he DIDN'T! And what the hell happened to all the other authors of Boostershots? Where have they been over the last 2 months? Fuck you and your teenage mind control troll crap. You're just a stupid loser with only 10 viewers! You're just using the most overused lamest illogical narcissistic tactic of trying to repeat a lie over and over until it's true! WHO HURT YOU?! You're so upset! Your avatar picture is horrifying! Just die already!"
Slow down girl.
Everything you just said is 200% correct. I'll explain everything.
Listen, Igor was offered a chainsaw AND the choice to join forces with Boostershots, solely to protect little kids and babies against the threat from ALL of the poisonous needles. My Dad thought this mantra was something that both he and Igor agreed on wholeheartedly, despite their trivial disagreement over the existence or non-existence of something called a unicorn "virus".
Here's Dad's last article for those who would like a refresher on this shit:
Coach Red Meat was only trying to focus on some common ground with Igor. He hoped that Igor could unite with him against the greatest of all evils in a positive way. He just wanted to utilize Igor's talents mind, (and he thought he'd be great with a chainsaw too).
Attention FBI agents!
Everything we write is always meant metaphorically, as in, effectively and LEGALLY using our freedom of speech with logic, reasoning, words, ideas, and imagination. Boostershots would never trust Igor, (or anyone), with a real live functioning chainsaw, especially around a sensitive special-needs infant.
Despite this ridiculously over-extended olive branch that Boostershots offered, Mr Chudov respectfully declined.
So?
No harm no foul right?
We even allowed a 30-day grace period in case Igor changed his mind later!
Sadly, the grace period ended around October 4th, 2022, and Boostershots fully expected to move forward without Igor on board the team.
OK. SO HOW THE FUCK IS IGOR ON YOUR TEAM NOW?!
Chill bro.
Around the beginning of September of this year, 2022, classic mind control tactics were effectively used to brainwash Igor Chudov into starting a "Do Viruses Exist Debate".
With classic mind control, the target's mind is temporarily acquired by using WORDS.
As soon as that Boostershots "psyop" was successfully underway, the currently deceased scientists of the Boostershots Bio-Medical Brain-Research Division were hastily working behind the scenes to finalize the development of a new form of advanced mind control technology, (which was first conceived in 1988). It's a berry big baby step up from the "classic mind control" process.
"What? Currently deceased? How and why are all the Boostershots scientists dead now?
So this new and advanced form of mind control technology is known in the scientific community as "Telepathic Envelopment and Absorption Mind Confiscation Processing", aka "TEAM-C Processing".
(US patent #060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606060606)
With TEAM-C processing, the target's mind is acquired permanently by using THOUGHTS, NOT WORDS.
Just imagine the power to control someone else's mind simply by "thinking" about them rather than by using persuasive writing or vocal engagement. (My Dad has been teaching me this type of shit since I was a baby.)
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever gotten this process to be fully operational...
...until now.
The very first successful transmission of pure TEAM-C thought waves occurred on October 31st, 2022, 11:59pm, (straight from the Boostershots Beam-transmission Base located in the extremely remote northern China/Mongolia border area).
It was a telepathic direct hit, from 1/2 way across the Earth. Mr Chudov would then proceed to start exhibiting the exact behaviors that Boostershots precisely predicted if this technology was ever unleashed on him.
TEAM-C radiation exposure comes with it's fair share of mental side effects, which Mr Chudov began to display almost immediately. Boostershots was only able to receive a few unintelligible communications for the first few hours or so, mostly static, but by the following morning, we were able to fully decipher the very first telepathically transmitted message ever sent in all of human history, directly from Igor's mind:
Igor wasn't just "plain-old mind controlled". This time around, Igor's mind was permanently absorbed into the Boostershots collective consciousness...
without one word ever being spoken…
without one word ever being written…
Kind of like cellular mitosis, but in reverse.
Same Team Bro, you've been absorbed.
Tragically, it was this same overzealous pursuit of technology that ultimately destroyed the entire Boostershots Super-Complex with a colossal plasmatic explosion, abruptly ending the lives of all of our dedicated authors and scientists who used to work there.
Wait, How did this happen?
Twas the next morning, November 1st, 2022, (during the breakfast burrito celebration at the Boostershots Telepathy Command Station), that one of the Lead Scientists said to one of the Junior Scientists:
“You’ve never made me laugh in my entire life, so why do I need to put my coffee aside?”
"Seriously, just put down your fucking coffee bro, you gotta check out this hamburger thing we just received from the telelectroscope, I think we may have gone a little overboard with the amplitude of the thought-waves we just sent out on Halloween."
It was at that very moment that everyone at Club Boostershots was eminently doomed. The old lead scientist didn't notice that Snuggles had curled up to take a nap directly on the corner of his cluttered computer desk behind him.
(The Boostershots Telepathy Command Station has an in-house lab-cat that everyone loves. We also have pretty lax safety protocols, and we're all animal lovers too of course.)
Anyways, the Lead Scientist begins to put his hot coffee down, (without first looking behind him), startles the lab-cat, then the lab-cat counter-startles the lead scientist, and finally, the hot cup of coffee flies through the air, impossibly, yet directly into the plasmatic energy machine that another drugged up scientist accidentally forgot to close the hatch on. FUck....
It was the scientists' own carelessness hubris that killed them. Or was is carelessness? Whatever.
TEAM-C processing technology is lost forever. The only remaining survivor of the explosion was the lab-cat...
I think my Dad once had a glimmer of hope that this Igor Chudov guy just might have been "a chainsaw type of dude"
...but he was so wrong.
As it turns out, Igor's "weapon of choice" is still his trusted red crayon fountain pen dipped in the blood of the recently deceased Exposé newsletter.
More on that later :)
So now that I've taken over this weird Boostershots "psyop" for my Dad and all of his deceased boomer friends, we will respect Igor's Chudov's choice of weaponry, and we are delighted to utilize Igor's talents mind over the course of the future. He's already been a terrific asset towards my Dad's main goal.
All my Dad really wanted was to save the world from evil. (Especially for the kids).
And as it turns out, after taking a closer look into all of this extremely dark fucked up weird shit, I kinda like my Dad's secret project. I also realized that I'm actually "a chainsaw type of dude."
Go ahead and really laugh at me now, because I'm going to tell you the real reason that I disappeared for a while.
Better put your coffee aside!
Are you ready?
I met a girl ninja with jet black pink hair.
She worked with me on a temporary “psy-op” that we were both were randomly assigned to by fate.
She was also able to read my thoughts.
"Chainsaw Man" was all her idea, not mine.
Boostershots melted away for a moment...everything was invisible.
She flew away into a dark cloud of kush.
Igor was totally right about everything after all.
Works Cited:
Chainsaw Man, Episode 1. (2022) Mappa, Shueisha
https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GVDHX8QNW/chainsaw-man
https://chainsawman.dog/
Pulp Fiction (1994) Miramax
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110912/
Akira (1988) Akira Committee Company Ltd.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094625/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Paprika (2006) Madhouse, Sony Pictures Entertainment
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0851578/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
Jurassic Park (1993) Universal Pictures, Amblin Entertainment
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Vortex
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (1964) Written by Roald Dahl. Illustrated by Quentin Blake. Penguin Group.
I was rather hoping you would take on Igot ChewedOff again..... and here you are! xx
You fools. That fake "no virus" setup site was the Psy-Op to make you morons believe the No Virus position is a Psy-op. Really disappointed in you twattle brains.