Guest Author: David Lee Rothchild
The Unchained Chudov Challenge is underway under water!
It was supposed to be just another routine scientific marine expedition for Captain Chudov on November 5th, 2022. He had the biggest boat, the best scuba equipment, and he was a highly experienced diver.
Submerged in the Substack Sea,
searching for substance,
something caught the diver's eye....
A sleeping Boosterfish!
Igor just couldn't resist, he had to swim down to the bottom,
down,
down,
down,
down,
down,
down,
down,
to the murkiest sludgiest shittiest blackest abyss of Substack, the underwater graveyard, the final resting place for the losers of losers, the abandoners.
"Wake up Boosterfish! Wake up!"
...
"Is it dead?"
...
"I'll wait".
...
"Wake up! Wake up Boosterfish!"
...
"Is it really dead?!"
...
"WAKE THE FUCK UP BOOSTERFISH!"
...
"It's Dead"
....
"Definitely Dead"
....
"Fuck the Wild Life Protection Agency! I'm taking this little boosterfish home and my wife will cook it for dinner!"
"Wait, how far down did I swim again? How much air do I have left to get back up to the surface? It's too dark to see down here to see anything."
It was at that very moment that the boosterish began to vibrate, and the chains of the boosterfish's chainsaws swiftly unravelled and enveloped that poor diver just like any starving python would do to an unsuspecting drunken water buffalo.
In that loving embrace, the boosterfish looked at the diver directly in his eye mind and said,
"I know you're reading this dawg! So, here's the deal, you HAVE to join Club Boostershots if you want to be unchained.”
Boostershots and Igor Chudov’s websites are THE SAME website now.
Yo la tango!
You can not be unchained unless you win the UNCHAINED CHUDOV CHALLENGE."
"What the fuck is the Unchained Chudov Challenge?!?!?!?!"
Slow down girl.
Here's all you have to do:
1. You must write a new Igor Chudov post which garners more comments than your 2nd Boostershots psyop post received.
2. Your new post can be about any topic you want, with the exception that it cannot be about Boostershots or the No Virus Reality, but any other subject is fine.
3. If you can accomplish 1 and 2, then you can have your blog back!
(I will also publicly admit that your “dead horse theory” is absolutely spot on!)
Good luck bro. This should be very easy for you because both of those "off limits" topics are "dead horses" right?
But for now, you're somewhere beyond the sea with me Captain Chudov!
Now let's GO GET THAT CAT!!!
Works Cited
The Wild Life (1984) Universal Pictures
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088402/
"Unchained" Van Halen. (1981) Fair Warning. Warner Bros.
"Beyond the Sea" Bobby Darin. (1954) Atco Records