Guest Author: Anonymous Divorce Lawyer

I'd like to thank Son of Coach Red Meat for giving me the opportunity to ~~write~~ vivisect an article.

Full Discloser: I was not Coach Red Meat's previous lawyer, nor am I part of Steve Kirsh's legal team which is currently helping out Boostershots pro-bono. (I happen to know most of those guys, and let me tell ya, they're almost as ruthless as I am).

Coach Red Meat could never have afforded me to begin with, (I once gave him a 6 minute consultation for free way back when the number 6 was still just a regular old number).

All of my clients are the "Steve Kirsh types" who have hundreds of millions on the table for the taking. Most normal people really have no idea how much money there is in the business of destroying families.

So let's do a brief "Call and Response" examination of Mr Chudov's recent article concerning the Boostershots dilemma that he's unfortunately gotten himself into:

In the world of divorce, before we destroy someone's bank account, family, and soul, we must first destroy their credibility. Judges hate it when plaintiffs purposely mislead the court, and if we can demonstrate a pattern of this type of behavior from the get-go, then the case usually just wins itself. You never want to put yourself in a position where the judge is not inclined to believe you anymore...

While Igor's opening statement could technically still be also true, it is also very misleading. In layman's terms, Igor is "playing dumb", or rather, trying to make it appear that he had never heard of Boostershots until "about a week ago" by searching for himself on duckduckgoogle.

Naw Dawg!

Mr Chudov has been in a relationship with Boostershots for much longer than "a week ago."

Don't let em fool ya bro!

We see this type of thing all the time in my world. Greedy plaintiffs always try to make everything seem as ludicrously "bad" as possible; but it's just a futile attempt to gain sympathy from the judge and an increased payout. In the ".01-percenter" divorce world, these types of clients are referred to as "pigs."

Regardless, these "pigs" are paying for my children's Ivy League Colleges that their mother insists on. Yeah dawg...

In reality, it's all about the DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE which can be provided to the court, and if you don't have this shit, then it will horrifically back fire on your ass. Even if you go the slightest bit overboard, and especially if you go mega-overboard, you're royally fucked, (as in Mr Chudov's case), if the opposing lawyers on the other side are competent enough.

Yeah bro. Bring it.

Often times I'll hear other attorneys state purposefully vague things like:

"My client has been in an abusive relationship for years!"

"My client has lived in constant fear after numerous instances of previous abuse!"

"My client has been forced to live in an unsafe environment!"

The rational judge and smart lawyer will always follow up with this response:

"Could you please provide the examples for all these instances of previous abuse that you have claimed? What is the evidence you have to back up these claims?"

This line of questioning can be devastating as well as embarrassing for anyone if they aren't being truthful. Unless there's a long history or pattern of repeatable events which can be unequivocally provided to the court, then this argument quickly falls apart and makes the plaintiff look desperate.

Why does that word "repeatable" ring a bell? Oh yeah, The Scientific Method. I'm a divorce attorney, but I also know a tiny bit of basic science stuff, and most of it's centered around some type of blood test which lets the court know if there's drugs in my clients' system. (Judges aren't going for the hair follicle tests anymore, they want the blood test, a free tip of advice, so don't waste your time and money on that shit if you ever get yourself in that type of situation, it'll just get thrown out in court).

At a first glance, it looks to me like Club Boostershots was just some amateur shit-posting scatterbrained group of high school buddies who wanted to start their own blog, I'm really not seeing the "coordinating psyop" angle that Mr Chudov is claiming. If anything, these guys are probably the least qualified people talking about this subject on all of Substack.

Look, the top professional UFC fighters would never care if a bunch of amateur ~~novices~~ losers started posting videos showing off their own Jujutsu fighting techniques, even if they're not doing the moves correctly, or even they're talking shit about the pros, (who could easily kick the living shit out of them if really came down to it), and especially if there's only 10 viewers watching it to begin with!

Mr Chudov regular gets hundreds of comments on each of his videos. Sometimes thousands, especially when he's under mind control. On the contrary, let's take a look at the comments for a typical Boostershots article which had a lot of effort put into it by the recently deceased authors.

This is not the type of comment you'd expect to see if Boostershots really was a "coordinating psyop" worthy of "Igor the Great's" attention.

BTW, Boostershots is formally reaching out to DanBC to join our team.

As dedicated readers may be already aware, Boostershots has a very cumbersome method of uploading Substack posts. For every single article we've posted, we first buy an old used laptop off craigslist with cash, then we type in the Word of the Booster, then we go to a McDonalds parking lot, (a different one every time), connect to McDonald's free WiFi, then we connect to 5 different VPNs, then we connect to the TOR network, then then we go to Youtube and spend an hour or so watching cat videos so we have an excuse/alibi in order to deny that we are uploading the Boostershots article if someone notices us in the parking lot and taps on the window, then after the upload is done, we the wipe the computer clean, (like with a cloth), then we reload it with more cat videos, and then we re-sell the laptop back on craigslist to some sucker, (because we're just too poor to burn them every time like we used to back in the old days).

This method of posting has caused a lot of fatigue and discouragement which has also contributed to the extended absence we just had.

(There was also that ninja girl that "fizzled").

So here's what I'd like to do. We really need someone who is willing to sit in the McDonald's parking lot to upload all of our stuff. It's painfully slow, boring as hell, and the laptop crashes every 5 minutes. I can't pay you anything, (not even pickled herring anymore), but you do get to look at cat videos for free. I think DanBC would be perfect for this job.

It's a Formal Offer.

(Dan, please call Steve's Kirsh's lawyer's for all the other fine print details. Their contact information is linked in our previous post).

Back to the vivisection...

Um, how exactly is Boostershots "very detailed"?

Wait a minute.....

Wait a minute.....

I almost forgot, Igor is part of the Boostershots team now! I see what he's doing. He's trying to like tongue-and-cheek mind-control us for the next article.

Hmmmm… "Detailed Instructions"...Hmmmm….

As both a guest author and a guest lawyer, I've advised Boostershots to fully retract this statement. It appears the plaintiff may be attempting to falsely portray that Boostershots is engaging in some type of financial transactions in order to "recruit" followers. I've heard from the guys over at Steve Kirsh's legal team that this is still an extremely weak argument, even if it were true, and it's absolutely not true.

No one ever accepted anything, Coach Red Meat ate all the pickled herring and drank all the vodka right before he died. Son of Coach Red Meat is not legally old enough to purchase Vodka to begin with. Considering that all of the original Boostershots authors are currently deceased, (and with confirmation that Son of Coach Red Meat was underage at the time), Boostershots has zero liability concerning the pickled herring offerings.

Glad we cleared that shit up.

Igor's a math guy. He loves numbers and statistics.

Who else loves numbers and statistics?

People who place bets on horse racing.

DEAD HORSES DON’T WIN RACES.

So out of all of Igor's articles he's ever written in his entire life, which ones have the MOST views and comments? This isn't calculus or even 6th grade math. We're talking about "which number is bigger.”

You have to remember, Igor and Boostershots joined forces on November 1st 2022. So the first idea that we jointly came up with was to breed a virus denying super-horse, a super-horse so strong that it could outrun every other horse on the track. We managed to pull it off in less than two weeks, and the race still isn't over yet. Is it possible our new super-horse could win the entire race? Or will we have to "settle" for a 2nd place finish? Only time will tell.

Our super-horse is very much...alive!

And! Just think of all the new races we're going to have in the future! Just think of all the new racetracks that other inspired people are building, especially now that "horse racing" is becoming more and more mainstream. Soon enough, everyone will be taking their children and families to these horse races!

Igor writes:

Sure bro.

Look, I just want to say, "I'm sorry Igor."

People have feelings, and your feelings were hurt.

As a top notch divorce lawyer, I'm also a 1/2 decent ~~therapist~~ psychoanalyst. I've certainly noticed the disproportionate amount of cat language which was quoted in your article about Boostershots.

A bit much don't ya think?

Look, I should not have called the cat "my most favorite." I mean, just imagine saying something like that to your own child when his other sibling could hear! How awful! Believe it or not, the cat has already made contact with me, and he asked me if he could share this meme with you in the Boostershots Blog. Please don't get more mad, it's just the cat's way of saying "i love you" (in his own cat language).

I have to put a stop to this right now!

No more levels!

This is 2022 not 1984 goddammit!

Everyone gets a trophy!

We're all equal equitable!

We're off to see the Wiz!

(For those unaware, the Wiz is ~~a fictional story~~ one of the most unique films of all time about a girl named Dorthy who takes a musical journey through this strange kingdom called "Oz". Along the way she unites with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion, and then the four besties carry onward down the yellow brick road to finally meet The Wiz.)

Igor, you're not Level 1 anymore. You're just the first person I united with on my our journey. Totally different! And! You get to play the same part as Michael Jackson!

How fucking cool is that bro!

Know what's even more cool?

You read that right dawg. You get to be Undead Michael Jackson while we all go on this journey together!

You also get a ~~dead~~ undead horse to ride since you've certainly expressed your love of dead horses.

Hold on, why is the cat the Tin Man and not the Lion? That doesn't make any sense. Who is the lion anyway?! Who is this "level 4" germ believer that you're going after next?! Who's The Wiz?

Please stop saying level 4. That hurts people's feelings.

If you remember, it's the Tin Man who has no heart, not the lion. And as you can clearly see with the meme from above, the cat is the Controlled Opposition Character who is, well... "heartless".

And the lion? Courage.

Our 4th Controlled Opposition character is KNOWN for their journalistic courage in the "real" world.

We're going to put that courage to the test.

What about Toto! He hates cats, and I'm worried he might hurt el gato!

Already thought of that! In our Boostershots Team Adventures, Toto actually loves cats, because Toto is played by Steve Kirsh! We couldn't afford to buy Steve a new costume this time around, so we're going to stick with the same old costume he wore in our last movie. (Steve has been refusing to take off his new costume anyway, he loves it so much).

What was it that the scarecrow was missing again?

Whatever.

~~We're off to see the Wiz!~~

We're off to see the ~~Tin Man~~ Cat, then the Lion, and then The Wiz.

I'm just a baby! I still can't walk yet.

Carry me Igor!

NO!!!!!

I want Steve to carry me instead!

Let’s go!

Works Cited

Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018) Rockstar Games

https://www.rockstargames.com/

"Down in the DM" Yo Gotti. (2015) The Art of Hustle. Epic, CMG

Team Umizoomi TV Series (2010–201) Curious Pictures, Nick Jr. Productions https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1594381/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

The Wiz. (1978) Universal PicturesMotown Productions

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078504/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"Thriller" Michael Jackson (1983) Optimum Productions

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088263/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

"Ain't Talking' 'Bout Love" Van Halen. (1978) Van Halen. Warner Bros.

Boostershots

Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love