Guest Author: Son of Coach Red Meat

(Note to all readers, our new pro-bono legal team keeps hounding us to insert the word "metaphorical" in front of certain words and literary phases, despite the fact we personally feel this is both redundant and unnecessary...this is Substack right?).

Despite Igor's attempts to confuse, deflect, misrepresent, slander, or straight up ignore anything Boostershots has ever produced, he still has not broken the one and only tenant which defines a free society...so far.

Even after all of these counter-trolling Igor posts we've just released, I think we've still gone relatively easy on him. Why?

The metaphorical chainsaw has still not been fully utilized, solely because Igor has not attempted to use censorship as a weapon...yet.

We respect Mr Chudov''s God given right to say or publish anything he wants to about Boostershots, because as long as we are able to counter his free speech with our own free speech for other independent minds to observe, then all is well. (And super fun too)

Boostershots recently discovered a "journalist" named Rhoda Wilson who writes for a newsletter called The Exposé. Rhoda had the worst day of her ~~life~~ career once she decided to take that Boostershot(link) on November 7th, 2022. Shoulda done more research before making such a poor decision! These Boostershots are extremely toxic. I'm not sure if Rhoda can survive what she just did to herself.

However, there's no need to worry! We have the perfect antidote for the poison Rhoda just ingested! Not only will it heal her fatal wounds completely, but it will also make her "newspaper" stronger than ever before! Our solution is more like an elixir rather than an antidote.

But will she take it?

(You’ll have to get to the end to find out). Rhoda should have known the risks, yet she made her own decision. Boostershots had nothing to do with it! In fact, we had already "fizzled" more than a month ago, (according to Igor Chudov).

Rhoda's Boostershots article garnered more comments than ANY OTHER ARTICLE SHE WROTE IN THE ENTIRE EXPOSÈ NEWSPAPER.

Is it fair to say that Igor's "dead horse theory" is dead in the water?

Or is it "Beyond the Sea?"

Please remember that the "Detailed Instructions" moniker was all Igor's idea, not ours.

But now that Boostershots and Igor are on the same team...

Detailed Instructions on How to Properly Use a Chainsaw:

Step 1: Locate the Controlled Opposition entity that is attempting to push the false narrative.

Step 2: Directly engage the Controlled Opposition with healthy open debate. Use facts, logic, and reasoning to counter the false narratives while ensuring that other independent onlookers may observe and make their own informed judgments.

Step 3: To further support your reasoning, introduce documented evidence when necessary.

Step 4: If and when the Controlled Opposition target engages in the first inkling of censorship, start up your chainsaws.

Step 5. Let your chainsaws idle, directly call out the Controlled Opposition's use of censorship, then demand to be uncensored while issuing a stern warning.

Step 6. Allow the Controlled Opposition the opportunity to retract the censorship. (And if if they comply, turn off your chainsaws and continue with rigorous open debate). DO NOT proceed to Step 7 if the censorship is corrected.

Step 7. Should the Controlled Opposition show any resistance to retracting the use of censorship, turn the dial on your idling chainsaws up to 11.

Step 8. Use your chainsaw to the fullest extent, by successfully re-introducing the documented evidence which was previously censored before, and relentlessly calling out the controlled opposition at the same time.

Step 9. DO NOT STOP CHAINSAWING UNTIL THE CONTROLLED OPPOSITION IS THOROUGHLY EVISCERATED.

Step 10. Syphon all of the Controlled Opposition's metaphorical blood into a large shipping container.

Step 11. Ship the storage container of the Controlled Opposition's metaphorical blood to Steve Kirsh's legal team. (Steve's lawyers will then forward the container of metaphorical blood to our new undisclosed Boostershots headquarters).

Step 12. Mr Chudov will use the Expose's blood for his classic ~~red crayon~~ fountain pen for every single post he will ever write on Substack in the future.

Step 13. Receive trophy for your hard work and success.

Step 14. Have a Boostershots Burger Bro!

If Rhoda still wants to save herself, the ~~antidote~~ elixir is hidden in plain sight.

(Hint: it's in The Exposed comment section!)

Boostershots truly hopes Ms Wilson takes this life saving elixir, because it's been absolutely horrifying to see what has been happening to her “newspaper”.

Rhoda, it's not that Boostershots is insisting that you join "Team No Virus". Not all all! We respect your choice to believe or not believe in viruses, even though we disagree with your belief.

However, we are insisting that you join Team Journalistic Integrity.

Ms Wilson, you reputation is metaphorically bleeding to death. Your comment section is one of the most brutal I've ever seen...seriously.

So here's all you have to do: Take the Elixir. Your savagely smart reader base has already put the elixir out on the table for you:

The choice is yours: Take the Elixir and revive your career, or The Exposè bleeds to death and provides Igor Chudov with a lifetime supply of red ink for our new Team Boostershots Substack project. Are you "Better off Dead"?

The choice is yours Rhoda.

Ya know, I'm in the mood for some burgers and beer. Want to join me?

Who else wants some!!

Works Cited

Chainsaw Man Episode 1 (2022) Mappa, Shueisha

https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GVDHX8QNW/chainsaw-man

https://chainsawman.dog/

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) Spinal Tap Prod., Goldcrest Films International

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088258/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Better Off Dead... (1985) CBS Entertainment Productions, A&M Films

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088794/

"Everybody Wants Some!!" Van Halen. (1980) Women and Children First. Warner Bros.